Sometimes in life...

Sometimes in life.. everything seems so meaningless.. all that you do.. all that you see.. all that you feel.. seems worthless..

When running and catching the things you once were fascinated about.. seems to be a stupid obsession...

All your loved ones.. though sitting near you.. seem to be too distant..

When the people you loved to hang out with.. seem like mere crowd..

When you feel lost in the volume of everything in the world..

All you wish is .. to run.... and run away....

somewhere too far.. where the noise ..the feelings.. the words.. cant reach you... 

Where there is nothing.. Not even void.. 

All you can see.. All you can feel.. All you can hear.. Is emptiness in mind.. Hollow in heart.. Silence everywhere..

And all you are left with.. Is your wish.. In that despair... 

Wish.. To live the dream you aspire..

Wish.. That there would be someone who would understand you.. Or at least make an effort to do so..

Wish.. To be loved the way you deserve...

Wish.. To have someone who accepts you with all your flaws..and still feel proud to have you..

Wish.. To be someone's present and future.. Which would heal the past of each other..

Wish.. That one day.. That person would let both of you be converted to 'we'... 

Wish... That this wish would reach that heart... And that heart would reciprocate... 

:)

SO SHE WISHES... :)

Sitting near the window... with a cup of coffee, a notepad and a pen... She could not decide where to start.... 

She had no clue what to answer.. When the person she has fallen for from the very first sight of him.asks.. "WHY ME!!!"

How to explain when the person she feels complete with asks her how her ideal soulmate would be...

How do she say that.. Feelings have their own language which can never be explained by any combination of twenty six alphabets...

Thousands of thoughts... hopes... confusions....

When he looks into her eyes..every pain in her life diminishes...

When he holds her hands..it feels like the voids in her life are filled...

When he is just around her..she feels so confident...

When he hugs her tight..everything in this world seems so right...

No matter what she does.. All she can think about is him..

Whenever he smiles.. her life seems so bright...

When it is about him... She can dare even her life without a second thought...

Not because he is perfect or imperfect..

Not because he is so good or bad..

But because He accepts her with all her flaws... 

With all the craziness and however weird she gets at times..

He let her be herself.. and not a sugarcoated self...

And that is what she ever wished for in her ideal mate...

She keeps the pen down.. Takes a sip of coffee..

Wishing secretly..

Only if the pen was her and the paper was him...

So she could express the storms and turmoils within her and make him understand how it feels indeed... :)

Only if I explain..WHY.......

You are with me but I can't call you mine..

You are the answer to my wishes but I can't declare it to be fulfilled..

You are the sweetness I ever searched for but I can't have it all..

You are the one I ever fell for but I can't expect to be held..

I know you might never feel the same way.. 

I know you may never accept me..

But I love you... And I don't know why..

Some may say it is..

For what you are.. And for what I am when I am with you.. 

For letting me be the real me.. For being honest..

For bearing my craziness and weird stuffs I say or do..

But the truth is... I love you for you are the one to be loved.. That's what I feel...

Rain.. Rain.. Come again... :*

She comes home tired from work... It starts raining heavily out of nowhere.. She goes to kitchen.. Comes back with a cup of coffee and sees him sitting in balcony.. She walks steadily and sits on his lap.... He looks so dull and tired.. She hands over the cup kissing his forehead.. He smiles..Keeps the coffee aside..
They look into each other's eyes and a talk of thousands of words happens without uttering anything..
Some memories.. Some wishes.. They share everything within a blink of eyes..
Soft breeze with tiny rain drops are making an awesome music.. They rise.. He holds her in his arms.. Looking into eyes.. They start dancing..
"Did I tell you..You are such a sweet devil..?" , He says..
She smiles.. Saying , "Company matters dear..!"
He holds her from her waist..
They hug.. And kiss.. And laugh.. And look at each other..cherishing that memory of their first kiss.. It was raining that day.. The walk in the rain and the kiss.. Marvellous moment it was..
Then they sit and share the cup of coffee.. With endless talks..
Then they sit there..her head near his heart.. she loved to listen to his heartbeats always.. It always soothed her.. And his hands caressing her hairs.. And the rain asks , "How long ???"
And they say , "Just some more moments.."
But none of them knows how long is that some more...they want to spend together..
All they can say is.. Some more moments..

Again comes a voice.. "Wake up girl..!!!!! You are late!!!"
She opens her eyes.. To realise it was a dream.. A devilish sweet one.. Which she so wish to come true..
She smiles.. Gets up.. Get ready and continues with her work.. Saying herself ,
"This will come true..Not today.. But surely.. Some other day....:)"

Just Another Random Self Talk.... ;)



It is 3am.. Lying down on sofa.. Earphones plugged in.. Music playing.. Trying to sleep.. But Insomniac.. Nostalgic.. Too many thoughts.. 

It has been a long time that she jot down all those untamed thoughts.. Really long time that she summed up her feelings within random combinations of those twenty six alphabets.. 

So many things ended.. Last meets.. Last enjoyments.. Last college fest.. Farewell.. Friends departed.. New friends made.. Stressed relations.. Break up.. A new life awaiting at the door.. But it frightens just like the last one.. 

Difficult to decide.. Moving on.. But strings attached.. 

A person so perfect she meets.. All that she ever dreamt.. All going good.. Euphoria.. Too much happiness.. Scary.. Fear of losing.. Even before having him.. Social stigma.. Stereotypes.. Break them.. 

Being herself.. Forgiving herself.. Accepting herself.. Loving herself.. 

Living present.. Leaving past.. Letting future open its mystery when time comes.. 

Loads of thoughts.. Buckets of emotions.. Lacking words.. 

Reconnecting to self... :)

Book Review: Shattered Dreams (Ramayana: The Game of Life #2)

Details:

Date of Reading: 26/02/2015

Author: Shubha Vilas

Format:Paperback

Pages: 404

Publisher: Jaico Publishing House

Language: English

ISBN-10: 8184955316

ISBN-13: 978-8184955316

Price: 350 INR

Published on: 04/02/2015

About The Author:

Shubha Vilas, a spiritual seeker and a motivational speaker, holds a degree in engineering and law with a specialization in patent law. His leadership seminars are popular with top-level management in corporate houses. He addresses their crucial needs through thought- provoking seminars on themes such as ‘Secrets of Lasting Relationships’, ‘Soul Curry to Stop Worry’ and ‘Work–Life Balance’ to name a few.

He believes that a good teacher, no matter how knowledgeable, always sees the process of learning and teaching simultaneously as an inherent aspect of personal and spiritual growth. He also helps individuals in different parts of the world apply the teachings of the Bhagavad Gita, the Ramayana and other dharmic traditions in dealing with modern- day life situations.

Blurbs:

Shattered Dreams is the sequel to the national bestseller, Rise of the Sun Prince, in the new spiritual and motivational series Ramayana – The Game of Life. Twelve joyful years have passed in Ayodhya since the wedding of Rama and Sita at the end of Book 1.

Now, in Shattered Dreams, Shubha Vilas narrates the riveting drama of Rama’s exile. Through tales of Rama’s unwavering and enigmatic persona, the book teaches us how to handle reversals positively; through Bharata’s actions, it teaches us to handle temptation; and through Sita’s courage, to explore beyond our comfort zone. This complicated family drama provides deep insights on how human relationships work and how they fail.

With Valmiki’s Ramayana as its guiding light, Shattered Dreams deftly entwines poetic beauty from the Kamba Ramayana and Ramacharitramanas, as well as folk philosophy from the Loka Pramana tales, to demonstrate how the ancient epic holds immediate relevance to modern life. Experience the ancient saga of the Ramayana like never before.

My Rating: 3.5 / 5

My Review:

Ramayana is not a new name that I heard or a whole new story for me. Being in an era of emerging technologies, I came across many versions of this same story. I have listened my grandma reading it in the evenings. I have listened it in my school. I have read articles and excerpts of Ramayana from various sources. I have seen many tv series and cartoon movie that revolve around the story of Ramayana. So I am well informed about the story line.

What differentiates this book from all that I knew or learnt about Ramayana is that it is indeed narrated in simple words with deep meanings. Unlike the original Sanskrit version of Ramayana, one does not need to be very good with vocabulary skills and deep understanding. It seems interesting to read as it is easy to understand.

Though I had applied for a copy of the book from blogadda, I was in a dilemma whether I should read it or not. I was confused because I have not read the first book of this series and hence it might turn out difficult to understand if I directly read the second one. But to my surprise, there was no problems in understanding the plot in the book. I liked the flow of the book that can make anyone bound not to stop reading, till the last page, once started.

One more thing I liked very much is the foot notes in the book. It is very helpful to make the thoughts of the author very clear to the reader. It helped me a lot and made my journey through the book very interesting.

An interesting thing about this book is that the author did not compromise on use of good vocabulary for the sake of easy understanding. It is indeed a balanced writing that keeps reading efficient and easy.Each of the incidents are well-narrated. Every detail of the incidents are taken care of , which makes readers more informative. 

Author has observed the things very wisely and analysed the situations and scenes in a detailed manner which quests the thirst of inquisitive readers. It keeps the reader engaged and gives the reader a rich feeling of accomplishment when it comes to seek more knowledge.

This book is definitely a food for soul. It gives immense pleasure to the reader for their spiritual,philosophical,psychological and motivational needs. It gives a greater insight to each and every aspect of life. It touches the heart of the reader, leaving him to give a thought about life and its meaning.

I would recommend this book for every soul which seeks growth in life through spiritual and philosophical manner and anyone who simply likes mythology and anyone who likes to learn from age old stories and anyone who likes to get knowledge with increasing vocabulary skills and everyone who likes to read... :)

This review is a part of the biggest <a href="http://blog.blogadda.com/2011/05/04/indian-bloggers-book-reviews" target="_blank"> Book Review Program </a> for <a href="http://www.blogadda.com" target="_blank">Indian Bloggers.</a> Participate now to get free books!

Not My Cup Of Tea...

oh.. that's not my cup of tea..!!!

no..no..not my cup of tea..!!!

when you say you can't afford much for my studies..

as for my future you have to make savings..

that's not my cup of tea..

when you set limit to my qualification..

so that it would be easier to get married to a person..

that's not my cup of tea..

when I am told not to aim too high..

just to get off me soon and let you sigh..

that's not my cup of tea..

when you say boys and girls are equal..

but have different standards to compare..

that's not my cup of tea..

when you say to be original..

and also encourage to follow the trend..

that's not my cup of tea..

when you say that I must have my opinion..

and I am not allowed to put it to front..

that's not my cup of tea..

when you say I must take my stand..

and also teach to make compromise my friend..

that's not my cup of tea..

when you limit me with my choice of clothing..

and still comment on whatever I am wearing..

that's not my cup of tea..

when I am allowed to stay out all night for a class or an interview..

but it gets time bound to be with friends..

that's not my cup of tea..

This is MY LIFE.. MY CHOICES..

MY DREAMS.. and none of your business..

But even after declaring it aloud..

When you come to me with your stigma filled cloud..

I want to tell it again and again..

Till it has conquered your brain..

oh.. that's not my cup of tea..!!!

no..no..not my cup of tea..!!!

And he lied again..

He was smiling.. I was smiling.. He was smiling for he thought he lied me once again successfully.. I was smiling for I already knew the truth.. He was happy to cheat me once more.. I was happy to know it before-hand..

He always told me that he is a bad guy.. He always told not to believe him.. But I was so stupid to see that it was the only truth he ever told.. He was indeed the worst guy I ever met.. He was not worthy of anyone's belief..

He constantly lied me with sugar coated lines.. He said he loved me.. He said he would never leave me alone.. He said I am the world to him.. He said he can't live without me.. I believed them all and he lied them all..

Then came a day when I realized his truth.. He left me at that moment when I needed him the most.. And said that it was all over.. May be it was not love .. Just an infatuation!!

I was scattered.. But somehow I carried myself up and moved on.. 

After long time , we accidentally happened to meet at the same place.. And after talking sometime.. He again said.. "I love you.." It rang in my ears a thousand times before I could respond.. I smiled.. He smiled.. And he lied again..

theme:

The day he lied to me

This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.

The Dilemma

"Aim high.. Be the best in whatever you do..Never give up..",my father says.

But when I talk about my dreams to propel on for success..he simply abrogates..

"Be the best you can.. Be dumb to what others say..",my mother teaches..

But when I share my wild dreams to achieve..she simply leaves..

"Don't be altered by the society and its interference..", taught my grandma..

But about being late for home at night..she reminds of social stigma..

"Dedicate and work hard to make your decision right..",my grandpa told..

But about age for making success and marriage.. a limit he holds..

"You are capable to do everything you wish..",taught my teachers..

But when I chose to do something offbeat..they proved to be mere preachers..

"Oh! So beautiful you are..!",said relatives and society..

But even a thought of being in fashion industry..turns you to be a rebel to almighty..!

"Follow your dreams and catch the rainbow..", my friends inspired..

But listening to my dreams..they all laughed..

I don't understand.. Why their perception is so confused..

All I learnt is.. Life is so tangled..

No matter what I do..There would be questions to face..

So better shut them up.. fly high.. and have a life to rejoice..:)

LIVE THE LIFE YOU THINK YOU DESERVE..

If someone asks what I want.. My simple answer is "FREEDOM".. Yes, you read it right.. Freedom is the most important thing in my life.. But whenever I say it, I get stares with questions..like.. "What are you talking about?? You are not a prisoner anyways!" or something like.. "You are a GIRL.. and you HAVE TO compromise your wishes to make a happy family!"

I want to ask each one of them.. "Who are you to decide what I should WISH or DREAM for.. and what do I do about them??" I never understood the norms of this society.. Sometimes I feel like I am ALIEN from some other place..who simply doesn't fit in here.. But then facing the odds and confronting those STUPID challenges are much more fun.. Being a rebel by nature is a bliss.. ;)

Introducing myself.. I am Tapasi.. I have always been stopped to do most of the things I love..just like many other girls.. But it attracts me more towards my dreams.. I love my freedom.. because I choose to be free.. I am a freedom freak.. freedom to be myself.. to listen every one but follow my heart.. ;)

I love to write.. I love dancing in the rain like a child.. I love going on crazy trips with my besties as well as a new friend.. I love go on endless shopping and also I love to do savings.. I love to do coding for softwares.. And I love reading novels.. I love to be with my partner as well as my family.. And I love my solitude.. I love to live my life.. And enjoy every bit of it.. I love being in my bed at times.. And I love to be with the nature.. I am special.. And I Love myself.. ;)

Theme:

1. Things that define me

Every woman has some things that she is passionate about, things that make her who she is. Tell us about the things that are important to you, the multitude of things that make you who you are, because you can’t be limited by one label.

“This post is a part of #UseYourAnd activity at BlogAdda in association with Gillette Venus“

YES.. THAT'S ME!!!

If someone asks what I want.. My simple answer is "FREEDOM".. Yes, you read it right.. Freedom is the most important thing in my life.. But whenever I say it, I get stares with questions..like.. "What are you talking about?? You are not a prisoner anyways!" or something like.. "You are a GIRL.. and you HAVE TO compromise your wishes to make a happy family!"

I want to ask each one of them.. "Who are you to decide what I should WISH or DREAM for.. and what do I do about them??" I never understood the norms of this society.. Sometimes I feel like I am ALIEN from some other place..who simply doesn't fit in here.. But then facing the odds and confronting those STUPID challenges are much more fun.. Being a rebel by nature is a bliss.. ;)

Introducing myself.. I am Tapasi.. I have always been stopped to do most of the things I love..just like many other girls.. But it attracts me more towards my dreams.. I love my freedom.. because I choose to be free.. I am a freedom freak.. freedom to be myself.. to listen every one but follow my heart.. ;)

I love to write.. I love dancing in the rain like a child.. I love going on crazy trips with my besties as well as a new friend.. I love go on endless shopping and also I love to do savings.. I love to do coding for softwares.. And I love reading novels.. I love to be with my partner as well as my family.. And I love my solitude.. I love to live my life.. And enjoy every bit of it.. I love being in my bed at times.. And I love to be with the nature.. I am special.. And I Love myself.. ;)

Theme:

1. Things that define me

Every woman has some things that she is passionate about, things that make her who she is. Tell us about the things that are important to you, the multitude of things that make you who you are, because you can’t be limited by one label.

“This post is a part of #UseYourAnd activity at BlogAdda in association with Gillette Venus“

Take a stand!!

I have been asking my mother and my grandma every now and then.. "Why can't my father do the households? What is wrong with a man doing(not helping in) the household works? How does that make him any smaller by doing his own work by himself..! Why a man or a boy do not have to do or learn the works like.. cooking daily meals.. sweeping the home.. washing his own clothes at least! Put his shelves properly!! If we as women are forced to do this..why not our brothers.. fathers.. husbands or any other man in the civilized society!" 

Every time I asked these..I was told to just shut up..! and by mistake..if I asked this before my father... That day was my worst nightmare..with all the NONSENSE explanations and preaching from my beloved mother and grandma.. All they have to say is.. It is like that.. And it will be like that..always.. Men don't do all these worthless works as they work hard at office all day long.. They need rest.. They need the house to be clean when they come home.. They must be fetched with best of the foods.. Even if they don't do anything at home!!! They have the sole right to take every decision regarding home!!

I just feel like yelling only one word at the highest pitch possible..."WHY!!!!!!" Just tell me WHY THE HELL should they have all these privileges?? Why a woman will do all the works for home and still have no rights to keep her opinion while taking decisions for home! Why is it too important to satisfy the so called man's ego..even if it is at the cost of a woman's self esteem!!! Why do we need to underestimate our self to make them feel proud of themselves even if they are clearly wrong at a point!!

I seriously don't get it.. If a woman can do all the household works even after working whole day at office or taking care of family.. what is the big deal if a man follow the same!! How is it justified that a man will be provided with all the best things..while a woman is indeed worthy of that! How is it justified that.. A woman must do all the things to just satisfy a man's ego!! He is just another human being after all!!

My question is not for any man.. Rather for the women in the society.. Why the hell can't you take a stand for yourself even when it is a question about your rights.. your self esteem.. your existence..! How can you be OK with all the inequality..! Why can't you just be yourself for the better of the house.. family.. society.. and for YOU!! Unless you understand your worth.. how can you blame the social norms..or the male rights..or the male ego..for dominating you.. !! Rather it is you who is underrating yourself...and no one else is responsible for it...

theme:

This is for the statistics.. "More than 2/3rd Indian women feel,there exists inequality at home, between men and women"

“I am writing for #IsLaundryOnlyAWomansJob activity at BlogAdda.com in association with Ariel.”

CLICK..?? CLICK..?? CLICKED....!!!

Next day..he called me to meet.. He had come all the way from his home in the middle of the vacation.. just to meet me..(may be for the one last time..!!) I could not deny.. I also wanted to meet him.. to finish it once and for all..

I thought he might plead..or cry .. to convince me to stay with him.. But I had decided to leave..(I think so..!!) But hell no!!!!! he neither pleaded nor cried.. He just approached me with the same warm smile on his face.. just like the first time we met.. I don't know what happened next.. My heart skipped several beats.. I was taken aback!! I mean.. How could he be so normal!!! After all.. someone whom he loved with all his heart was leaving him!!!!

We went to a food court.. He ordered my favorite foods.. I sat there looking down.. I could not look at him.. He asked me many times..what's wrong!! I was silent..

And then he started.. saying.. "You always asked me why I love you so much jaan.. I always avoided.. Today I am going to answer every question you ever asked.. as I may not get a chance after this.. "

And he went on.. answering.. why he loved me so much.. why he din't keep in touch with friends.. why he behaved strange at times.. what he had been through before I entered his life..

I was silent through out.. I was not able to listen.. or perhaps I din't want to.. But I found out so many things I never realized in last three years of togetherness..

Finally, he dropped me home.. And before I left.. He said.. "I love you for what you are.. for all your flaws and strengths.. YOU make me love you.."

And I was clicked.. at heart.. All that he said made sense.. I don't know I ever loved him in last three years.. But at that moment.. I loved him.. not because all that he said.. But for he made me love myself.. like never before..

This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.

Foe to Friend..:)

I had always been confused about friends and foes... I always believed that if we are meant to be friends, we will always remain as friends.. and the vice verse... But there came a day which proved me wrong.. And I feel blessed for that..

For some unknown reasons , she started behaving strange.. She never liked me.. whatever I did was a show-off or a waste according to her.. All she ever did was bitching about me from hell to heaven.. I was clueless about why it was so.. She was always insecure from me.. for unknown reasons as I told you before..

But all that never affected me because.. I was always like that.. I was in my world of imaginations.. fun.. living my life on my own conditions.. But I really felt pity on people who were envious of others.. for they waste their time and energy for others.. 

Then came the day.. Which made me realize that everyone has a story untold.. and life has its own twists and turns..

I was standing outside the tuition room.. Everyone had left for home..except her.. and me(her so called enemy).. It was extremely awkward for me because I never knew her personally and all I ever heard about her were the rumors she spread about me.. So I preferred to be quiet..

I just put my earphones in and played music.. Suddenly I felt something wrong..I turned around and she was right in front of me.. I was confused about what she was up to..

Next moment, she came to me slowly and asked.. "Can I share something with you??".. I dint no what to say.. I just nodded unknowingly.. Then she began her story.. Which she said I was the first person to know about.. I don't know how true it was..

She revealed the mystery.. She told me how I was an idol for many in school and that made more people envious of me.. She told me how she adored me.. But friends around her never let her come near me and confront..rather made rumors that she was insecure of me.. She told me all the things what she heard about me..and how she always felt that it was not the truth.. and she was happy that she never believed them..

She (almost crying..) stared at me like a child looks at mother for support and care.. I just felt something inside me.. I hugged her.. both of us were crying.. but for pleasant reasons this time... She was crying because she finally met her idol and her belief was right.. 

I was crying for I was happy for her.. Happy for having the guts and strength to listen to my foe and turn her into a very special friend  for lifetime.. :)

This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.